Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Lucky Me!

It's so bizarre to think back to last year at this time we had finally decided we'd try to have another child. We had been waiting to use our frozen embryos -- for that "right" time and we decided the time was never going to be "right" and just to go ahead. Our final decision really was made for us when we found out that our insurance company no longer offered any infertility/fertility coverage (I wonder why?) and the doctor told us that our embryos weren't of very high quality so he said we should implant 2 and even then our chances of having a baby were very low. I refused to implant more than one as the thought of another set of multiples was overwhelming -- I could handle another set but the whole scary pregnancy and birth of multiples was more than I could go through again -- I know way too much about that aspect. We would have had to pay the entire fees for the embryo transfer and all the medicines and we couldn't justify doing that on something that had little chance to be successful and a high chance of being heartbreaking. That same week I took the triplets on a walk and someone asked me if we were going to have more children. For the first time in my entire life I said out loud, "No, this is it for us." It was one of the hardest things I have ever said. At that moment it was real we were done having children. The very next day I took a pregnancy test and now a year later we have a three month old daughter. It's so weird how things work out sometimes. I was ready to accept that three kids were enough and I know we are very blessed to have them. Then the whole world was turned upside down with some pee on a stick. This is why I feel that Reese is just as much of a miracle as the other three and I am lucky to be their mama!

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