Seriously

Today I am wondering if I Ethan will ever be potty trained???? Yesterday, I had to clean poop off the slide and I stepped in it in the yard (reminder to self: always wear shoes in my own backyard). I've tried it all, REALLY, well except: I'll get you a puppy if you learn to use the potty . . . that's a last resort, I'd have to potty train the puppy too -- ugggghhhh!

The last thing I tried was naked. Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, I've read said if you let them be naked they will not "go" on the floor. Well whoever "they" is has never met Ethan. Not only did he pee on the floor a few times, he pooped too. The first time he did it I thought it was just an accident, but he did it again on the hardwood floor right by me (while I was on the computer). He just squatted and went. I guess it's a bonus that he tells me so no one steps in it but it really doesn't phase him, he isn't sorry, he doesn't really care.

He usually tells me when he has wet his pants, sometimes he tells me when he poops. I've tried to be nice and funny and give him rewards of stickers on charts and M&Ms and we've yelled and spanked a couple times too (I know, turn me in, don't worry I'll be paying the therapist bills (for him and me)). I know what the majority of the problem is: STUBBORNNESS. I have never meant a child so stubborn in my life. And I've met some really stubborn children in my ten years of teaching. I can even remember a couple of names (which I won't name) but I think Ethan could give them a run for their money in a Stubborn Contest.

He holds it for a couple hours. When I put him on the potty, it's like a 10 minute thing of getting him to go and normally he does have to go but just doesn't want to. There's crying and screaming and laughing and begging and lots of "NOs" from everyone in the bathroom and here, everyone is usually in the bathroom at once! So if you have any advice, I need it! I want it! I want to hear it all! School will begin in 4-6 weeks, I have to get him mostly potty trained.

All Pooped Out!

Dear Ethan,

I am at a breaking point (and I don't feel I get to breaking points easily) with you and potty training . . . seriously you are almost 4 and a half years old, it's time actually way past time and then some. I started potty training you and your brother and sister when you were about 2 and half years old . . . almost 2 years ago. Your sister, being a girl and all, pretty much did it herself. Your brother, on the other hand, was a slower go and took about 9 months to be officially potty trained. I didn't push you, I didn't want to traumatize you for life as all the propaganda says. We're gently nudging and encouraging, but I'm losing stamina.

You're so very stubborn . . . you don't seem to care about incentives. Your siblings were thrilled with charts and stickers and promises of "guys" for pooping on the potty. Even with bribes of special fun things like extra visits to Grammy & Papa's house . . . you have the so what? attitude. Maybe if I got the real live Wiggles to come here in person and live at our house you'd do it . . . doubtful. I'm even thinking would a puppy help? No, that's something else I'd have to potty train, I need to regroup.

The comment that I always jokingly say: He'll have to find a wife who will change his pull-ups . . . isn't so funny anymore and I'm beginning to think seriously what are you going to do? What am I going to do? I still have to potty train Reesey after you . . . maybe I'm just tired after all Daddy and I changed approximately 6,000 diapers your first year and probably close to 14,000 to date all in the short period of 4-1/2 years so I am just all pooped (and peed) out! So will you please at least pretend your interested in going instead of ignoring me when I tell you it's time to go try and when you want me to sit on the tub by you for what seems like endless hours could you at least put some effort into the whole experience instead of just wanting to get down only to wait 5 minutes after I put a new pull-up on you then you say "I stinky, I poot." I really want you to be a big boy and I know you do too.

Please, please, please, maybe there's a puppy waiting for you on the big boy side . . . puppies have got to be easier to train than their 4-1/2 year old owners.

Love, Your tired mom

This just in . . . Latebreaking News

I reported last night that Ethan pottied on the potty for the very first time ever! Well, he did it again this morning. Then before his nap he pooped on the potty and if you know anything about potty training this is a huge step! Then he pottied again for me this afternoon! This is unbelievable! I started potty training these kids more than 18 months ago. He is so stubborn and it has to be his idea I guess. Anyway, he's doing well at preschool, seems to be getting the potty training thing down too, so now I think I'll have him start looking for a part-time job next week!