I'm Ready

Preschool officially begins in 2 days. We have to go to an open house on Monday to drop off the supplies and see the classrooms and meet each teacher. I thought I would be really emotional and who knows how I'll feel on Monday after we attend the open house or how I'll feel after I drop them off on Tuesday but right now I feel I'm ready and they're ready. After a lot of soul searching, well over a year and half about my feelings on preschool, this is right choice, right now. I was a little disappointed at the beginning of the summer when I was called and told the kids had to go all day and not half days as I had requested. Ethan is going half days but Addison and Caden will go all day. I asked why they wanted them to go all day and they said we were taking up 3 spots for other children that could go all day . . . hmmmm . . . I wonder if three moms said they wanted each of their children to go mornings only would they let one mom do it and not the other two? Probably not, so I feel like I'm being "discriminated" against (in a way) because I have triplets. I figured I'm going to pick my battles so I let it be because who knows there may be worse things around the corner. Anyway Caden and Addison are ready to be there all day and since they pretty much don't nap consistently or at all . . . let the teachers deal with that rather than me. Ethan, on the other hand, will need to come home to nap (and let's not even think of how he would act at lunchtime); I think his teacher will be more than ready to send him my way at 11:45 each morning. I have concerns that they will all be in trouble a lot and hope that the superintendent doesn't have to install a hotline directly to our house or he has to set up a little corner of his office for Reese and I to just hang out there every day. Ethan is so challenging at times and I hope he is cooperative at school with the other kids and teachers. I worry . . . I've been a teacher . . . I know how it is . . . I don't want him to be the student that the teachers say "YES!" under their breath when he's absent from class. I want him to love it and I want them to like him.

I could have just kept all of them home another year as they can go to preschool next year too. But really I know I am doing this more for me than for them. I need the break especially after this summer of Aaron roofing. I haven't had much of a break at all in a few months. It's hard and even harder when there are many, many days they don't nap. I feel so "behind" with so many things. I need some time to myself. I need some time with just Reesey. I need to be happy to see the kids at 11:45 and 3:00 instead of looking at the clock and seeing how much longer until bedtime.

When we went to registration, Ethan's teacher said, "You aren't going to know what to do with just the baby at home. You'll probably just spend the entire time looking around asking yourself, 'What should I do?'" I think she's right. Last week I started a list of things I want to do and things that need to be done. And I do think I'm going to work out some kind of schedule for myself so I have time to run errands, workout, complete house projects of painting and cleaning (oh, the closets), and do stuff like scrapbook and just relax with Reese. I was ready to try to figure all this out on paper and start in on Tuesday with a schedule but then I decided that maybe we need a transition period for all of us. So I think I'm going to play it by ear for the first couple weeks just to see how it all works. It's really weird though because I can't really comprehend some things without 4 kids because I keep thinking things like I need to get my hair cut so badly -- it's been about 3 months -- I start to stress about it wondering when can I do that with Aaron roofing every night after work, it's not the kind of thing I can take 4 kids with me to do then I remember, Oh yeah, I'll only have Reese I can just schedule it when the kids are in school. She can easily sit in the stroller for 20 minutes when I do that. It's a whole new way of life for me.

I wouldn't be surprised if my attitude about school changes a lot over the next few days but with a little time and patience I think things will work out and I may feel a little less stressed about life in general!