The Last Day

This is the kids last day of school.  As usual I feel like I should spend that very last day doing something just for me, like have a spa day.  But I don't see that happening on any last days of school around my house.  It's so busy with programs and trips going on at school.  Then add to the fact that I have sick one here.  Ethan has an ear infection and bronchitis.  I am referring him to as Neb Man. 

We've never done nebulizers at our house, much to my doctor's surprise.  The nurse warned that most kids don't like the mask and they never put the mask on just hold it up to their face.  Not Ethan, he's all about wearing the mask and even wants to have it on his person at all times by carrying it around in a bag.  He's missed the entire last week of school.  All the fun stuff happens then, I feel bad that he missed it but he doesn't know and doesn't feel like doing anything either.

I was able to sneak away yesterday to see Caden and Addison in their Mother Goose Plays:

Caden was Old King Cole.

Addison was Jill from Jack & Jill:

There were so cute.

So no spa day for me today.  On the agenda instead is:

*Giving the Neb Man his treatments every 4 hours.

*Cleaning up our house.  Every since I had to give up the cleaning lady in January when Aaron got laid off, my house hasn't been completely cleaned.  When I had my cleaning lady, I picked up everything every 2 weeks, now it's so out-of -control plus doing home improvement projects makes it impossible for us to keep things in order.  I have to get it cleaned up today because these children of mine are going to help keep it clean this summer and we should start with a clean slate.  (I cringe to think we own 2 houses right now and once we begin moving stuff we will have 2 messy houses)!

*Take a shower .... I don't think I've had time yet this week!

*Clean out my purse, I think someone put a cookie or two in there and they are crumbled to pieces.

*Think about teacher gifts ..... we go back to get our report cards on Friday.  I sure do think all the teachers my children had were fabulous and I want to thank them for all their patience and hard work!

*Laundry .... there's always laundry here.

*Work on my summer school program.  Yes, we are doing school work here this summer almost every single weekday.  We have to, so skills aren't lost.  I'm including fun snacks and art projects, games and computer time so it won't be that bad.  My kids are also going to have jobs and I'm implementing a rewards program for their schoolwork, jobs, and behavior. 

Looks like I better get going on my day, summer will be here in 4.5 hours!

Yesterday

Yesterday we went to the BIG house (as the kids call it) to receive a delivery .... which made us both question each other why are receiving a big delivery when we aren't in any sort of position to do so ... in remodel world.   Of course we both said it was the other person's fault, thus began the first fight about the BIG house, more to follow I'm sure. 

While waiting for our delivery to be completed we worked on the endless removal of nails in the subfloor and started to peel off wallpaper which so far has revealed some nicer wallboard not crazy plaster problems (YET!).  The kids even helped with this for quite a while.   Previous dwellers of the house have written on the walls ... lots of names but some funny things too like: Let's watch T.V. and My brother loves Bonanza!

These two decided to do some of their own work.  Holding a nail for your sister to hammer is very brave .... it reminds of me of Lucy and Charlie Brown.  I can't remember if this is before or after he punched her in the face; thank goodness he didn't use a hammer to hit her.

 We found another resident at our house .... I'm hoping this is the only other "critter" we find. 

Our first family portrait in front of the house. 

This photo is for my sisters ..... I know they will find it ironic and funny!

Code Word

Potential is a good, positive word.  However it really is code for WORK!  We bought a large old house with potential.  This is how I spent about 3 hours the first day, crouched down like this:

Doing this about 1 million times:

I should have counted how many 3 inch nails I pulled out of a 4x6 piece of subfloor.  After about 3 hours I got one piece done .... only about 11 more or so to go in this room.  I'm trying not to the think about the other rooms the carpet continues in. 

 Aaron ripped up the 1980-something carpet to find someone let their dog/s pee on every possible inch of carpeting. 

Here's what we found ... we think it's 5" pine plank floors.    I worked solo today to find some not so pretty spots .... that we think the room was once 2 rooms and they tore out a wall and patched the floors with whatever was in easy reach.  Not sure what to do about that.  I'm going to let it soak in and of course keep removing the subfloor hoping that there are no more surprises.   I search the internet for inspiration photos hoping that with some good patching, sanding, and some stain we can have nice wood floors.  It's really overwhelming, when you don't know what you are doing, working without your sidekick (he was at work) to at least talk about it, and listening to my children scream and fight every 5 seconds. 

There is potential ....

Wouldn't a Christmas tree look great right there in the middle of those windows?

Won't my dining room look pretty painted a creamy yellow color?  Gasp, I think these paneled walls are the only nice walls in the entire house.

Some "nice" kitchen cabinets would be beautiful looking peeking through the doorways.

It takes every ounce of resistance not to start ripping out all these old mismatched,some homemade cabinets.

Or to tear out the bathroom cabinets ... who needs this much storage in a bathroom?????  What do need besides towels, soap, shampoo, and a few medical supplies.  I guess I could become a member of Sam's Club again and buy the biggest toilet paper pack they have.

I'd love to go buy some paint remover and see what this banister looks like au natural.  There are chips that peak into it's old beauty.  But once again I get ahead of myself.  We promised ourselves we would not start a bunch of projects at once on this house.  We would make a plan and finish projects/rooms before we begin another.  Still it's hard not to start more than once thing.  Oh the potential! 

Yes, I'm 3!

Here's a regular quote from my 3 year old: “I CAN do it MYSELF!”  I, too, feel like I need to scream that announcement at this time.   I can do almost anything on my own and I want to do it myself.  I don’t usually need people to help me. I love doing things on our own  and prefer it that way. I am not looking for problem solvers or decorators or social events planners or financial managers or nannies (or so maybe now and then I need a babysitter) or life coaches or decision makers or therapists or personal shoppers…. I’m not trying to be superwoman or supermom or super anything. I’m just being me. I am a very independent person (just ask my husband). I like to do things on my own at my last minute pace which is how I work best. I very seldom jump into anything, big or small, without a long thought process to weigh everything out, and I can say that I hardly ever regret anything. I’ve run across people who find my independence a fault or view it in a negative way. What can I do about that? Nothing ….. I’m just going to keep on truckin’.  And I do understand that people are just trying to be nice by offering, but they should not be offended when their offer is declined: "Thanks, but no thanks!"  So at this moment in my life when I feel our plate is very FULL … well maybe it has overfilled at this point and it's making one big giant mess on the floor  ….. I still want to keep being me and doing it on our own. The ending accomplishment makes us happy! When we need help, we will ask. Until then you will keep hearing me say or possibly yell, “I CAN do it MYSELF!”

Missing Him

One year … that's how long it's been since my dad so surprisingly passed away. It seems so long ago and yet it seems like just yesterday. He wasn’t sick, he wasn’t unhappy, he was busy, he was farming, he was taking care of his dog, Daisy, he was going to dances, he was involved with all 3 of his daughters and their families …. He was here one moment and gone the next.

 I saw him a lot …. He was here at my house at least every 2 weeks if not more. He almost always showed up unexpectedly {which drove me crazy} bringing us soda and treats for the kids and sometimes dinner. I think about him alot ... more than every day .... more like several times an hour.  I am a lot like my dad … I’m a loner, I can be very quiet/shy at times and very loud and obnoxious at others. I’m a rule follower. I love old things and reusing things …. I can be a saver and a hoarder. I’m a procrastinator and not the best housekeeper.  These are  all things I would say were qualities my father had. I think family is pretty important just like he did.

I’ve noticed over the past year how much Caden is like my Dad. He has the same beautiful blue eyes as my dad. The way he smiles and after seeing some of my dad’s childhood photos, they looked almost alike at this age.   Even the way Dad was standing in old photos is Caden to a tee.  Caden will suddenly say something out of character that remind me of things my dad would say from time to time.

At Christmas time, I was digging through my cookie jar in the kitchen and I found a Christmas card from my Dad. It wasn’t dated and he had handwritten all our names in it and it said something about remembering the blessings at this time of the year and then he signed it Love, Dad Grandpa Spike. It was like he was here and I think it was his way of showing it and a reminder that I need to be present in the moment. All through the past year, I see signs of him everywhere …. He really has carried me through this deep dark time. There were many many weeks when all I wanted to do was sit in my bedroom and watch mindless TV hour after hour, it was hard to do anything else. I know he was right there with me. I needed that time to grieve and be alone and figure out things. I know now that he was my strength when he was here even though I didn’t realize it and he continues to be my strength after he’s gone.

Being out on the farm is hard work but it’s a way to be close to him and his land and our family. We all seem to pull together out there. It’s been a rough road for us sisters too, we are close, but I know for me I’ve had some not so glamorous moments. Everything is different and I felt like we all had our little place in life but with my Dad’s passing it was like someone put us all in a can and shook us up and dumped us out and now it’s all different and for me I’m just trying to find my new place in our relationships, our family. It’s still good to get out there and work together …. It’s are own special therapy. After a day or two on the farm, I’m much too tired to be overly concerned with the unimportant minutia that sometimes overcomes me. I just ordered a quote for my wall that says “Happiness is a Journey” which is very true … this part of life’s journey is not happy but the memories of my dad and closeness that I share with my sisters and their families is part of the happy part. So one year down the road, I am wiser, I am appreciative of my dad, I am missing him more with every passing day. I think it was my sister who said she read somewhere that when you lose a loved one you never get over it, you just get used to it.

Miss and love you, Dad!

Hanging in there!

I know it's shocking that I am going to post on my blog.  I wanted to about a million times but it just never happened.  I'm sure everyone was sitting on pins and needles to see what exciting things we were up to.

I turned 40 and am still happy about it, so far it's been really good.  I'm definitely getting better with age!

It's been a year with a lot of changes for my family and for me.  I've definitely had some not so great moments in dealing with my dad's death and if you happen to be one of the unfortunate ones on the wrong end of my emotional/mental breakdowns, I apologize.  However, through all the tough stuff some really great things have happened too and I think I am becoming a better person.  Enormous things put it all into perspective, although some days I have a clearer perspective than others.  Definitely, life goes on ...... lots of changes here at our house and on the horizon.

We had a bump in the road with Aaron being laid off for 3 months, but he's headed back tomorrow.  We've gotten a lot done while he was home and even though it through a huge wrench into my regular day-to-day, it was nice to have him here and the kids enjoyed it a lot.  Plus I think he's almost mastered the Wii game Lego Star Wars (yay).

The kids are learning to read.  I taught school for over 10 years (1st grade the majority of those years).  I remember lots of people asking me "How do you teach them to read?"  Everytime I was asked that I never had an answer, because there's no formula or certain things you do, it's tons of things and exposure and continuously talking about letters and sounds and words and rhyming and the other million things you do.  I remember that I used to tell those people, "That it was like magic."  And it was  ..... I was always amazed by it because there would be kids I would think I don't know if I'm going to be to teach that child to read but they always did to some degree.  And when my own kids starting reading a bit a few weeks ago, the magic was there again.  I am amazed again.

And this guy, has made huge strides in his learning, behavior, and development this year.  We still have a ways to go.  But overall we are so proud of him and the teachers and staff at the school that he has worked with.  Born at 2.6 lbs and hooked up to every machine, I sat my his hospital incubator wondering what would be in store for him and what possibilites he would have.  I would say the sky's the limit at this point.

So yes, I'm still hanging in there, sometimes barely and other times I have a good grip.  I'm looking forward to the future and whatever it brings!

My scrap space

I'm on an organizing spree.  Seriously ..... one of my goals for this month was to touch EVERYTHING in my bedroom.  I know that sounds weird but our bedroom is the place where many things go when I don't know what to do with them or don't want the kids to mess with them.  Our bedroom is a decent size but not so much when it's stuffed full of clutter.  So I wanted to go through EVERYTHING in there.  I don't have a long attention span for big projects so one area a day:  one drawer, one surface, one whatever.  I've kept up.  I've gottten rid of a lot of things.  My scrap space is in our bedroom.  I know .... people are gasping but I actually like it there. 

We have a little spot with a window ... it was big enough for Reese's crib and when she moved out, I moved in. It's 4 feet long and 5 feet wide, yes, very small.  It's tight I have a table that we discovered in Dad's attic a stool to sit on.

This is a little piano bench across from where I'm sitting that holds some items waiting to be put away or used.

Underneath that piano bench is this paper rack.  I made this from this idea.  I like it.

I bought these stacked drawers for my embelllishments at Target.  It's not pretty but it does the job.  It sits right next to my stool and I keep my most used tools and things I would take to a crop (if I ever went to one) in that bag.

This is the drawer in the table.  Some fun stuff in here.

A lot of stuff stored under the table including another paper rack and a set of 3 plastic drawers.  Keeping things labeled helps me find it easier.

I have another stack of the Target drawers for embellishments under my sewing table.  Keeping my sewing machine out all the time has been life changing for me in sewing and scrapbooking ..... I probably use my sewing machine every single day .... before when I had to drag it out I wouldn't I hate doing that.  My sewing table is around the corner from my scrap desk. 

This is part of the top of the table.  Seeing this reminds me that I have to go through some more stuff.  That's an old drawer I bought and turned on it's side.  I love my frame inspiration board although it needs to get cleaned off too.

I love old jars and other containers to keep some stuff handy.  I think it's true that you will use more of your stuff if you see it rather than in a drawer. But since my space is limited I just have to rotate or limit what can be out.

More stuff out on the table.  I have photos in that blue breadbox.

When we drywalled our bedroom a few years ago, we discovered this empty space so we put shelves in.  They are perfect for some canvas bins and hold thickers, paint, chipboard pieces in bags, and my punches.
Someday I would love to have a little more space to spread out and more vintage looking containers but until then it works for me and my goal of scrapping 10 minutes a day has been productive.

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